Nicole Farhat

When it started

September 2020, that is when I started on one of the most significant art pieces I have ever done. Except I am still not done. Insert facepalm emoji here.

It all started when I decided to take one of my small pointillism drawings of a buck and blow it up. I wanted to frame it and possibly sell prints of it. But, my first task was finishing it.

The Size

I decided to make the picture 20 something by 20 something inches. So probably over 10x its original size. I did the outline and started to block the sections. Then I began the dots. And after the first hour, I already regretted everything. My arm was dead.

SO MANY DOTS

And since I was using an easel, it made it so much harder. Usually, when I am drawing in a book, I’m either flat on a table or the book is on my lap. It had to be on the easel. It was the only way to see the full effect.

A Closer Look

Let’s take a closer look at what I got myself into. I broke down the small version to show you the dots and the different areas of shading.

This first section is of the antlers. I struggled here because it crossed into the ears when I needed to make an area darker, and the lines were lost.

Next is the face. This was the most complex area for me. I felt I was losing the depth and emotion I was trying to put forward with it. But in the end, I was happy with it.

You can see in some regions of the face the dots have all blended. That wasn’t my initial intention, but shit happens. I went with it, and when you pull back, it looks good.

BTW, this was my first attempt with pointillism ever.

Lastly was the torso. This was the easiest section. It just needed to fade out at the end. This area of the deer was also the lightest.

The Mid Size

A few years after drawing the first one, I decided to enlarge it in a slightly bigger sketchbook. This one was a bit easier since I had a bit more room to play around with. Right now it is probably my favorite version. You can see a little more detail in the darker sections, like the nose. The dots don’t blend, and you can still see the different sections.

Also, I clearly have an issue with finishing backgrounds. Both the smaller version and this version, the backgrounds are incomplete. I was never fully set on what I wanted and how I was going to draw it. So I left it. I never had any intention of doing anything with these drawings anyway. They were for my own personal enjoyment.

Again, I started off with the outline and blocking the different sections of shading.

And like I said before, this was a lot easier. I won’t spend too much time explaining this one. I finished it fairly quickly. It might have taken me a week altogether.

THE BIG GUY

Regret. That is all I felt after starting the dots. But, let’s not jump ahead.

First, I want to show you the size difference so you can understand my pain. This is just the mid-size and the Big Boy. Yes, I am calling it the Big Boy. Do not judge me.

And again, like always, I outlined and blocked my sections for shading. I started with the small shading on the antlers first and did the light dot outline on the whole thing. This took me an hour. I was wearing a wrist brace for the next few days.

I got a lot of the antlers done in that first month, but then life got in the way. I had some events happen that pulled me away from my work. And not in a good way. These events challenged me and made me anxious every day. I was getting sick all due to stress and panic attacks.

On days where I was feeling good and didn’t have much to do, I would lock myself in the office working on the piece. I would put soft music on and lose myself for hours until my arms hurt. I made progress but never as much as I would hope. I would get discouraged and think I will never finish it. And today I still feel that way. But I know once I finish it I will feel so accomplished and breathe a sigh of relief.

Currently

This is where the piece currently stands. I am nowhere near finished and I, unfortunately, don’t see it getting finished before the end of 2021 (Update: It’s currently October 2023). It would be a great gift to myself if I do finish it. But let’s be real. Work and life always get in the way.

Its Meaning

I don’t know if you have noticed, but the deer is also in my logo. I have probably changed my logo five times already because I was never truly happy with it. But now I can say I won’t be changing it again. This deer has been a part of me for years and it was only fitting that it stays with me through my journey. Who knows, maybe it will give me luck and the push I need to finish the Big Guy.